I
Previous Next
Chapter 5: Defying Gravity
“Emma!” Regina called out.
Robin and Mulan ran out to her.
“Regina, what’s the matter?” Robin approached her.
“Zelena was here. She’s taken Emma!”
“I’ll go with you,” he announced. “We’ll find her together!”
“No,” Mulan interjected. “You need to stay here with your son. I’ll go with Regina.”
“That’s right, jackass,” Regina scowled. “I’m extremely pissed off right about now and that kid is the only thing protecting you from my wrath!”
She jumped into the driver’s seat of Emma’s car and started the ignition.
Mulan turned to Robin. “If a Wicked Witch is around here, Aurora and her child could be in danger. I want you to go get her and bring her here. Protect her.”
“I will, my friend,” Robin and Mulan grasped each other’s arms.
As Mulan opened the passenger door, she called out to Robin.
“Oh, and clean the place up while I’m gone. Pick up the dirty clothes and wash the dishes. I don’t want Aurora and the baby coming to a pigsty."
“Will do!” Robin replied jauntily.
“Are you coming?” Regina shouted to Mulan in an irritated voice.
“Also,” Mulan instructed Robin as she closed the car door and called out the window, “sweep and mop the floors! Disinfect the bathroom, clean the toilet and make sure the seat is down. Aurora is a lady!”
“I’ll get right on that,” he called back somewhat less enthusiastically.
As Mulan settled into the passenger seat, Regina ground the gears into first, then popped the clutch as the car lurched forward to a stop.
“Is there a problem?” Mulan asked.
Regina restarted the car and ground the gears again, with the same results.
Robin pumped his fist.
“Almost had it that time,” he shook his head.
“Godammit!” she cursed as she hit the steering wheel with both hands. “I don’t have time for this!”
“Perhaps I could drive,” Mulan offered.
“Do you know how to drive a clutch on a yellow deathtrap?”
“I have actually never driven a car of any kind. But, I don’t see how I could do much worse,” Mulan replied earnestly.
There was no response from Regina.
“Perhaps we could walk?” Mulan offered.
Regina shook her head.
“I’m not leaving Emma’s car here. It’s like her familiar. I may need it to find her. Plus, she loves this car. And I love…” her voice dropped off.
“I understand,” Mulan nodded. “Say no more.”
“A levitation spell!” Regina declared.
She concentrated hard as the car became airborne.
“I may not be able to drive a clutch in a deathtrap, but I can fly,” she looked over at Mulan.
The warrior grabbed the dashboard, as her eyes grew wide.
“Perhaps, now that we’re airborne, you could quit referring to it as a deathtrap,” she swallowed hard.
_____
Emma woke up in a dark cage. A strange voice spoke to her.
“Welcome, dearie. Someone to share my humble cage at last, how nice to have, yes?”
She cleared the cobwebs from her head and tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness.
“Where am I?” she asked.
“Oh, a question! Questions! Questions! I love questions! Who asked the first question? Eve or the Serpent, hmmm?”
“Gold?” Emma tried to make out his features. “Is that you?”
“Questions more, yes?”
“Yes, more questions,” she rubbed her head trying to assuage a pounding headache. “Where are we?”
“Relative, time and space are. Who can say, hmmm?”
Emma sighed. “Great. I just get done with Regina’s pussy-speak and I’m stuck in a cage with Yoda. Why are you talking so funny?”
There was a long silence before Gold answered.
“She’s taken my brain.”
_____
Ariel led Henry down to the shore.
“We’re going to fish from here?” he questioned.
“Fishing!” Ariel literally shook with revulsion.
“Are you okay?” Henry asked with concern.
“Fishing is a cruel evil perpetrated by humans upon the creatures of the sea!” Ariel replied.
“It’s just a sport,” Henry offered.
“No, Henry, it’s not! It’s it’s…” Ariel struggled to find just the right word, “it’s fishacide!”
“Fishacide?”
“The baiting and killing of innocent sea creatures for pleasure. What would you call it?”
“Um… dinner?”
“I’ve lost many a companion to the sharp hook,” Ariel reflected.
“You act as if you’re friends with them, the fish, I mean.”
“I am. Starfish, swordfish, sea anemones, crabs,” Ariel waxed nostalgic.
“Okay…” Henry rolled his eyes.
“Let’s go swimming instead,” Ariel brightened.
“No thanks. It’s a little cold and, besides, I didn’t bring my swimsuit.”
“No worries,” Ariel smiled. “We’ll swim in our skivvies!”
Henry’s eyes grew wide.
“You mean our underwear?”
He tried to avert his gaze as Ariel disrobed. He looked down to the sand, then up to the clouds. It was then that he noticed a yellow VW flying across the sky.
“Hey, isn’t that my Mom’s car?”
Ariel did not answer as she ran down the beach and dove into the waves. She rose from the water with her wet underwear clinging to her ample frame.
“You coming?” she smiled sweetly.
“Best. Day. Ever.” Henry whispered to himself.
_____
As Regina turned the yellow VW towards her house, Tinkerbelle appeared at the driver’s side window.
“Hi Regina.”
“Hi Tinkerbelle.”
“Got my wings back!”
“I can see that. Congratulations!” Regina gave her a dismissive look. “Little busy now.”
“Flying car… cool! Levitation spell?” Tinkerbelle admired her work.
“Yep,” Regina nodded. “Is there something you needed, or did you just want to show me your feathers?”
“Your true love is here, Regina!”
“I know that, Tinkerbelle.”
“So you’ve hooked up with Robin Hood?”
“Not exactly. Turns out there is someone else for me.”
“No, Regina! It’s Robin Hood! It has to be!”
“Why?” Regina shook her head.
“It’s been ordained! It comes from above! He is your true love!”
Regina shrugged.
“Hate to disappoint. But that’s not how it turned out. Gotta’ land now.”
“But wait, Regina! This isn’t right!”
“Going down, Tinkerbelle.”
As Regina guided the car down towards her house, Tinkerbelle followed, still babbling about Robin, Regina and true love.
“Watch out for the power lines!” Regina yelled at her.
Too late. Tinkerbelle hit the wires with an explosion of sparks.
“What’s with people from the Enchanted Forest and high tension wires?” Regina shook her head.
“Her wings are scorched!” Mulan was alarmed as she watched Tinkerbelle plummet to the ground.
“What a shame. They were brand new, too,” Regina sighed.
“We must help her!” Mulan stated emphatically.
“She’s a fairy,” Regina informed. “They specialize in soft landings.”
As the car hit the ground with a thud, Regina managed to guide it into the garage and park it next to her Mercedes.
Mulan jumped out.
“I must go help that poor fairy!”
“I think you should,” Regina agreed.
“Bring her to my house. I’ll fix her a drink.”
David, Mary Margaret and Hook were waiting for her on the front porch.
“Good. You got my text,” Regina said.
“What’s this about Emma being kidnapped?” Mary Margaret asked anxiously.
A look of bafflement crossed her features.
“And was that my daughter’s car you were, um… flying?”
“Zelena’s got her,” Regina replied as she opened the door. She nodded at Hook. “What’s he doing here?”
“I don’t know,” David replied. “But I can’t seem to shake him.”
“I’m not opposed to a little shake,” Killian smiled.
“Whatever,” Mary Margaret, David and Regina all shook their heads.
The foursome entered Regina’s parlor.
“Why would Zelena take Emma if she’s after you?” David questioned.
“Isn’t it obvious, Mate?” Hook intoned.
David gave him a blank stare.
“Oh, sorry,” Hook continued. “I forgot. You’re challenged when it comes to discerning the obvious.”
“Just say what you mean to say!” David demanded.
“Zelena’s trying to get to Regina through Emma,” Hook explained.
“I still don’t get it,” David look confused. “How could Zelena use Emma to get to Regina, unless they were in love, or something?”
A light went on in David’s head.
“Oh,” he said.
“Oh indeed, Mate!” Killian nodded.
“So, at City Hall, everything you said about um…” David could not finish the sentence as he began to blush. “My daughter’s, um…”
“Pussy?” Killian helped him out.
“Yes, that,” David cleared his throat, “is true?!”
“No judgments, David,” Mary Margaret reminded gently.
“Just so you know, someone else was controlling my comments at City Hall,” Regina began, “I would never use the word pussy to refer to a vagina, at least not in public. Snatch and twat are more my style. We used say quim back in the EF, remember, Mary Margaret?”
Mary Margaret smiled in spite of herself.
“This is not funny,” David admonished his wife. “What have you been doing with my daughter?”
“She’s a grown woman,” Regina stated nonchalantly. “She doesn’t need Daddy’s permission to fuck someone.”
Mary Margaret nodded resignedly.
David’s face turned red. “Is she joking? I can never tell if she’s joking.”
“I don’t think she’s joking, Mate,” Hook shook his head.
“Let’s get back to the matter at hand,” Mary Margaret redirected. “Was Zelana controlling you at City Hall? Does this have anything to do with Emma’s disappearance?”
Regina waved her off.
“Totally unrelated,” she assured. “That situation has been dealt with.”
David attempted to refocus his energy from thoughts of Emma doing the nasty with Regina.
“A transformer exploded a moment ago,” he said. “What’s that got to do with this?”
“Nothing,” Regina replied as she poured a drink. “That was just my friend…”
Mulan entered the room with a slightly singed fairy draped over her shoulder.
“Tinkerbelle,” Regina finished her sentence as Mulan deposited the fairy on a couch and Regina placed the drink in her hand.
“Thanks,” Tinkerbelle coughed as smoke came out of her mouth. She downed the drink.
“Where do you think Zelena took her?” Mary Margaret asked.
“Probably to the same place she took Gold,” Killian answered.
“She’d have to be moron to do that,” Regina pointed out. “We all know where that place is.”
“Why does she want your heart, Regina?” Mary Margaret asked.
“Regina’s fucking Emma?” Tinkerbelle was just catching up to the conversation she overheard as Mulan had helped her into the house. She burped out more smoke and held up her empty glass. “Can I have a refresher?”
“I’m not sure. But something she said to me has peaked my curiosity,” Regina revealed as she handed Tinkerbelle another drink.
“What’s that?” David asked.
“She called me Sister.”
“But, Regina, you don’t have a sister,” Mary Margaret pointed out.
“There is something in my vault I need to retrieve. A letter I have never been able to make sense of. I need to read it again. It may help us understand Zelena’s motives.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” David said. “Let’s go!”
“Mulan, stay with Tinkerbelle,” Regina ordered.
“If that is how I may best serve,” Mulan shook her head skeptically.
“It is for now,” Regina replied as she headed for the door. “Make sure she doesn’t spill anything on my sofa!”
_____
“Gold, Gold, are you with me?” Emma asked.
“I have moments of lucidity, but only moments,” he replied.
“I’m going to try and pick this lock,” Emma said as she examined the old style padlock. She searched her pockets.
“Damn, I’ve got nothing to use on it. Look around. There has to be something.”
“It’s useless, dearie” Gold exhaled.
“What happened to you, anyway?” Emma eyed him.
“She stole my dagger. It contains my power. My brain is scrambled, so long as it is in her possession.”
“So your dagger is your brain,” Emma reflected softly. “Might be a little disappointing for Belle.”
“She can bend me to her will and there is nothing I can do about it’” he lamented.
“You can fight back,” Emma spoke up. “Regina wouldn’t sit here and do nothing!”
“So, Regina’s a hero now, is she?” “
She is if she can get us out of here. She’ll come for us. You’ll see.”
“That’s what I’m counting on,” a voice came out of the darkness.
“Zelena,” Emma hissed.
“She’ll come to rescue her damsel in distress. She’ll be on my turf and I’ll be ready for her!” the witch smiled.
“I’ve sealed her heart within her,” Emma smirked at her. “You’ll never get it.”
“Well, not while she’s alive, at least,” Zelena ran her fingernails across the bars of the cage. “But that’s not the problem. It’s how to kill her. I wouldn’t want to damage the heart. These things must be done delicately.”
_____
“Don’t touch anything in here,” Regina warned as she led the others down the stairs into her vault.
“Regina?” Mary Margaret asked as she looked around.
“Do you ever find it creepy that you have a vault?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Oh, I dunno’. Kind of creepy to me.”
“You’re just not familiar with the ways of magic,” Regina chastened. “This is normal.”
David picked up a small bottle.
“What part of don’t touch anything do you not understand?” Regina snarled at him.
“I’m just looking for the love potion you used on my daughter!”
“Oh, she doesn’t need any chemical enhancements, believe me,” Regina cooed seductively as she replaced the bottle.
She turned to David.
“She’s got it going on!”
“Are you going to let her talk about our daughter that way?” David turned to his wife, exasperated.
“You kind of asked for it, Sweetheart,” Mary Margaret shrugged.
“Let’s get that damn letter and be done with this place!” David growled.
Regina picked up a box from a shelf and opened it. She pulled out a folded piece of paper. They all watched her as she read it slowly. Her eyes filled with tears.
“What is it?” Mary Margaret queried.
“Damn!” Regina cursed as she crumpled the paper and threw it on the ground. She exited the vault in a whirl of purple smoke as the others stared at the wrinkled parchment on the floor.
“Wow! What was that all about?” Mary Margaret pondered.
“Should we read it?” David wondered.
“I don’t see why not!” Hook offered cheerily as he picked up the note.
“Well? What’s it say?” David asked anxiously.
“It says: You have an older sister named Zelena, Love, Mum.”
“That’s it?” David scratched his head.
"There’s a P.S. here,” Hook informed.
“What’s that say?”
“P.S.: Her magic is da bomb!”
“Oh dear,” Mary Margaret put her hand to her mouth.
_____
Emma stood upon a tiled balcony overlooking a sculpted garden. Clouds passed over the moon as a slight breeze carried music from below. She looked down and saw that she was dressed in a shimmering gown, as if she had been attending a ball.
“Lovely, isn’t it?” Regina’s voice came from behind her.
“You mean the view or the gown?”
“Both, actually,” Regina smiled as she joined her on the balcony.
“Wow! You look amazing,” Emma gave her the once over. “I’ve never seen your hair up like that before. And Regina… you have cleavage!”
Regina was similarly attired in a dazzling gown with her hair swept up in an elegant arrangement.
“But I have say,” Emma smiled, “I’ve got an urge to take it down.”
“The hair or the cleavage?”
“Both.”
“Shall we dance first?” Regina held out her hand.
Emma placed her hand in Regina’s. Regina lifted it to her lips and kissed it.
“First time at the ball?” she smiled as she began to dance with her.
“I think it is.”
“I’ll lead then.”
Regina swept her across the room to the faint strains of music being wafted upon the breeze as their gowns flowed elegantly behind them.
“This is magic,” Emma’s eyes grew wide with wonder.
“The best kind,” Regina acknowledged.
She slowed their pace until they were barely moving. She gently brushed Emma’s lips with her own.
“Now you’ve been kissed at the ball.”
Emma drew her close as she deepened the kiss. She glanced down at her cleavage as she caressed her neck. She watched as her breasts rose and fell with each touch of her lips.
“I want you so bad right now.”
Regina lifted Emma’s chin and gazed into her eyes before kissing her again.
“I want you, too,” she breathed.
“I’ve never felt anything like his,” Emma whispered.
“Tell me about it,” Regina intoned as they moved slowly to the music once more.
“Like nothing else in the world matters: just me and you under the moon and stars. Like nothing else exists, but us, dancing in the dark. It feels like…”
“Magic?” Regina finished her sentence.
“Yes,” Emma exhaled deeply as her eyes filled with tears.
Regina gently touched Emma’s face.
“Crying? There’s no crying in magic! Besides, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you shed a tear before. Must be the princess dress.”
“I do feel like a princess. Odd as that me be,” she mumbled under her breath. “But, that’s not it.”
“Why then?”
“Because none of this is real. I’m in a cage with Gold in Zelena’s storm cellar.”
“This is real, Emma. It’s the only reality that matters right now.”
“So this is like some kind of Spirit Walk, only without the peyote buttons?”
Regina laughed gently.
“Something like that. I used your car as a familiar. I gathered your energy, and brought you here.”
“You used my car as a familiar?!”
“It wasn’t easy, let me tell you,” Regina rolled her eyes.
“So where are we?” Emma questioned. “Is this the Enchanted Forest?”
“No. We’re in a place all our own, where no one can touch us. I needed to bring you here to warn you.”
“I knew this was too good to be true,” Emma uttered sadly as she released Regina and walked out onto the balcony. She placed her hands on the cold stone of the balustrade. “What is it?”
“Zelena is my sister. She may be more powerful than me. The only way to defeat her is to combine our powers.”
“She’s your sister? That’s so fucked up, Regina!”
“I know, right?”
“So what’s the plan?”
“I’m going to come for you.”
“No, Regina! It’s a trap!”
“Not if we work together. Then it becomes a trap for her. When I come, concentrate all your energy on her. You’re more powerful than both of us.”
“No I’m not!”
“You are, Emma. I can feel it. I’m limited, but together we’re unlimited! Reach deep inside yourself and concentrate your energy on her and I’ll take her down.”
“If I’m as powerful as all that, maybe I should just take her down myself.”
“Your magic is too undisciplined and unpredictable at this point. She threw you like a rag doll, remember? Just stay on the down-low, please. I know you know how to do that,” Regina’s arched her eyebrows.
“It’s too dangerous,” Emma shook her head.
“What’s the alternative? Remaining in that cage with Gold?”
“Eww. He’s lost his mind, Regina. Did I tell you he’s talking like Yoda now?”
“Hardly surprising. He always was a bit of a toad.”
Both women smiled. The light of the moon illuminated billowy clouds. The moon and stars seemed to float through them slowly on the gentle breeze. A light trace of eucalyptus and jasmine blossoms scented the air. The faint strains of music had been replaced by the chirping of crickets and the melodic song of a mocking bird. Emma slipped her hand into Regina’s as she drew close to her.
“Did you create this place?” she wondered.
“No. We did. The power of our magic together created this place. Can’t you feel it all around us, Emma?”
Emma did not reply. She slipped her arm around Regina’s waist instead. Regina laid her head on Emma’s shoulder as they stood, without moving, in the moonlight.
“I wish we could just stay here, Regina,” Emma spoke at long last. “It’s so perfect, so beautiful. I feel I can breathe here. Like something was missing and now it’s found.”
“It is enchanting,” Regina agreed.
“How much time do we have?”
“Enough.”
"Enough time for…” Regina pulled her into an embrace and kissed her.
Emma felt, suddenly, light. She glanced down. They were no longer standing on the ground.
“Regina,” she exclaimed. “We’re levitating!”
“Defying gravity,” Regina kissed her again.
Emma gasped as Regina slid her hand beneath her bodice and cupped her bare breast.
“Oh God,” she cried out as Regina fondled her.
Regina released the fastenings holding Emma’s bodice. She gazed at her uncovered breasts in the moonlight before gently sucking on each nipple.
“Regina?” Emma gulped out.
“Yes?”
“I think I would like to be fucked at the ball now.”
Regina twirled them towards the bed in the room. She landed them gently as they both laughed.
“Way better than a fairy landing,” Regina smiled with a self-satisfied tone.
“What?” Emma was confused.
She did not get an answer as Regina expertly removed the rest of her gown and slid her hands up and down her naked flesh.
“Regina!” Emma could barely form her name.
“What is it?” Regina eyed her seductively.
“I’m new at the princess thing. I don’t think I can get you out of that gown.”
“Oh,” Regina looked down at her dress. “Use your magic!”
“You’re really going to make me practice right about now?”
“A good teacher recognizes a teachable moment,” Regina replied haughtily.
Emma closed her eyes. When she opened them, Regina lay naked before her.
“I did it!” she proclaimed proudly.
“You did indeed,” Regina sighed.
“This just doesn’t get old,” Emma smiled as she eyed her up and down.
“Using your magic?”
“No. Looking at you.”
No more words were spoken as their legs intertwined and they began to make love. Time lost all meaning.
_____
“This feels different,” Emma finally managed, as they lay exhausted. “I mean, before, we were like sucking, licking, fucking, and that was great, don’t get me wrong, but this was like, like…”
“Like what?” Regina gazed at her expectantly.
“Like love or something, I guess. But not in a way I’ve ever experienced it before. It feels really good. Don’t you think so?”
“It’s amazing,” Regina’s eyes were filled with affection. “You’re amazing.”
“I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose…”
A church bell began to chime in the distance. It then counted off the hours: one, two, three…
“Is that for us?” Emma asked.
“Yes.”
“There’s so much I want to tell you!”
Four, five, six…
“So much I haven’t said!”
Seven, eight, nine… Regina began to fade.
“Regina! Come back!”
Ten, eleven, twelve…
______
Emma jolted upright in the cage.
“Is there a problem, dearie?”
She felt herself to make sure she was clothed.
“Church bells,” she blurted out.
“What of them?” Gold inquired.
“I used to love church bells,” she sighed. “So beautiful, so comforting.”
“Ding dong the with is dead!” Gold stated merrily.
“I was with Regina! How long have I been gone?”
“You’ve gone nowhere. Important to remember next time you call me crazy is.”
“Great,” Emma sighed, “We’re back to Yoda speak.”
“You’re in the vortex of magic, dearie: Regina, Zelana, me. Who can say what is real?”
“No. I was with Regina! It was real!”
“Relative, time and space are. Who can say, hmmm?”
“Interesting,” Zelena’s voice came from the shadows.
Emma shook her head. “Fuck this.”
_____
“So you think true love is not ordained?” Tinkerbelle queried Mulan.
“That it comes by order or decree? No. True love happens naturally. For example, two people may be thrust together for disparate reasons and find that they care about each other, that they love each other.”
“That just doesn’t happen in real life,” Tinkerbelle shook her head. “All true love is decreed by fairies, fairy dust and spells!”
Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a car horn honking in the garage. Both women jumped up to see what was the matter. As they ran outside, David, Mary Margaret and Killian were making their way up the driveway.
“What’s going on here?” David demanded.
“There is a loud noise emanating from the garage,” Mulan informed. “I think we should investigate.”
“Right!” David spoke in a commanding voice as Hook rolled his eyes.
As they proceeded into the garage, they found Regina, passed out, with her head upon the horn of Emma’s car. David opened the door as Regina fell into his arms.
“Is she okay?” Mary Margaret asked.
“Bells,” Regina mumbled.
“Regina!” Mary Margaret called out with concern as she gently shook her shoulder.
Regina opened her eyes.
“I know where Emma is.”
Previous Next